Streaming Audio/Lyrics

Online Dating

03:44
Uncle Pumpkin
written by Dan Grennes

Lyrics

Online Dating

I like to runaround in the nude, now are we telling the truth
I got so good at doctoring and altering my face
To trim my extra weight
I probably drink to much but I’m ready to love
I haven’t had any luck with online dating, so far

Now I swear I’m not a psyco
But I got caught watching my 16 year old neighbor last night
No big deal, right?
Now I’ve got a question for you
Are you accepting of a man’s great need to please himself outright
Whenever the time is right

I don’t like much sports, I don’t like tea
I don’t swish or floss between my teeth
My stomach condition gives me gas
In the morning my room smells like ass

I like to runaround in the nude, now are we telling the truth
I got so good at doctoring and altering my face
To trim my extra weight
I probably drink too much but I’m ready to love
I haven’t had any luck with online dating, so far

In my bed your picture lies
I undress it with my eyes
And I love you
That is I’ll do just what it takes to be above you

Can you tell I’m kind of hairy?
I used to shave it all off but it gave me rashes where the sun don’t shine
And it grew back just fine
People say I’m kind of scary
Because suppressing my feelings can make me want to knock out someone’s lights
When I’m drinkin right

I don’t have a degree, I don’t like school
I don’t like most things that people do
I don’t like to spend money on my food
But I could spend the night with you

I like to runaround in the nude, now are we telling the truth
I got so good at doctoring and altering my face
To trim my extra weight
I probably drink to much but I’m ready to love
I haven’t had any luck with online dating, so far